Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize