I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She bit a glass in half.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
