Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
