So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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