I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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