I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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