Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
