His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
