who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
