Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize