i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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