From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
