Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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