i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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