lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
