she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
