No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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