you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
