Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
