Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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