Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
