i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
