We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
