i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
