if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
