My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
