You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize