You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
