hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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