don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
