If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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