didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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