ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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