I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
