two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
