Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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