he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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