Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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