Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
