He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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