ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
