Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
