Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
