ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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