After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
