Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
