dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
