so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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