It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
