Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
