I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Your tits are I can't wait for
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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