so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
