he wants to bone in the snuggie
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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