who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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