Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
