since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
