How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
cat food counts as protein by the way
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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