Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
