hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
